The Open Toe Shoe Pledge

(Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:)

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the rules when I
wear sandals and other open toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and
touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the back.
The sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish free or vow to keep polish fresh and chip free.
I will not cheat and just touch up the big toes.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toes.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, co-worker, mother
or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct tape, pin, glue, or tuck it into place hoping
it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend DR
Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low price of
$4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into kids’ sizes. This is out of
concern for my safety as well as others.
No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat
and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall
and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes start to
swell and look like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, co-worker, mother or sister
when she asks me if her feet are to ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell
her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes her creepy feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that they will actually flip and flop,
making the correct noise while walking. I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to get a professional pedicure at least once per season.
I will promise to throw away any white/off white sandals that show signs of
wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.